Recovering

I was 4 weeks post surgery on Wednesday and it is a mixed bag of ups and downs. It is so true when people say that you should count the recovery from something like major surgery in weeks rather than days. Counting the days isn't wise as one day you feel great and then for the next two you feel dreadful and wonder what went wrong. Reflecting on the week is however much better for you as you can see your progress and can feel how much better you are doing. The key to any recovery is staying positive, staying up beat, keeping your spirits high and not letting yourself get sucked down into the glums. In case anyone is interested I have listed below the key things that you need to think about in preparation for and during any recovery period.

1) Pillows

I cannot stress just how important pillows will become to you in recovery. You need to prop yourself into all sorts of imaginative positions to get comfortable (particularly at night) and pillows are essential for this. Invest in a good V pillow too, this is great for sitting up and reading. Don't be shy with your pillows, stick them wherever you need to take the weight off - I have found putting them under my legs and lower back hugely helped to take the pressure off parts of my back when I wasn't very mobile. 4 weeks out I am still using the one pillow - I've become quite attached to it.

2) Hand Cream

Now this might sound odd but you will find you are washing your hands more than usual to stave off any infections. So, every time you touch a pet or touch anything from the outside world (which becomes a fictional space that you only dream of visiting when you stare wistfully out of your front door) or a guest with snot you need to wash your hands and they get really dry so invest in some good industrial hand cream.

3) Resting/napping

In week 1 you will be completely passive and will rest and nap without even realising you're doing it. In week 2 you will be more aware of the naps but still not in control of them. Week 3 is the real test. Week 3 is hard because you feel that you should be better than you are and so you skip the nap and then you pay for it the next day. In week 3 and beyond keep napping. When you are tired your body is telling you it needs a rest to heal a bit more, listen to it. Also, previously easy tasks such as having a shower will take you longer and you will need to rest before, during and after such an undertaking. Again listen to your body, sit down for 10 minutes after a shower before getting dressed and conserve a bit of that energy for later on when you want to make a cup of tea or answer the door to the postman just for someone from the outside world to talk to.

4) Support from family and friends

Do not under estimate how much support you will need. Tara and I are very lucky to have amazing family and friends who came to stay and visited us when we were in hospital and looked after us when we got out. If you have a young niece (about 1 year old) invite her to stay and look after you - great tonic to feeling crap, if your dad is a DIY genius invite him too because he will cut your lawn and clean your decking and paint your living room. Mums are great too they help with chats and lending cardigans and changing beds, walking dogs and other general mum stuff. You can't choose your neighbours but if you could I would suggest having ours, who are fantastic and have sent cards, baked cakes and generally been lovely - one in particular has been an absolute bloody star making us frozen dinners for the nights we just can't cook and driven us out for days trips with the dogs and popped in for tea to check on how we are doing and emptied the bins. You will need people like this around, they are worth their weight in gold (especially if both adults in the house are laid up).

5) Keep on top of pain relief

I forgot this. I forgot to take my paracetamol and paid for it. You can't move about as much if you are in pain and it also chips away at that high spirit I was talking about. Keep taking whatever your hospital team have prescribed and you will feel better for it.

6) Walk

Walk as much as you possibly can. Rest in between if you need to but keep walking, walking is amazing. Walking will help you to get better. It doesn't matter where you walk just keep on doing it. I have a lap around the whole of the downstairs people looking in would probably think I was nuts but I don't care I am walking.

7) Don't Lift

Don't lift heavy things. There is much conflicting advice on the internet about recovery and you can lose yourself for hours in self pity forums about lengthy and complicated recoveries, you can also find people who ran half marathons 5 weeks after surgery however what all of these people on the spectrum of recovery are agreed on is DO NOT LIFT. So listen and don't do it.

8) Get up and get dressed.

Everyday, even if you don't feel like it. It will keep you feeling human and not ill. It will make a difference. Invest in some recovery attire because you will not feel like wearing jeans (ever again) but you don't to be sitting around in your pyjamas it won't help you to get better.

9) Don't beat yourself up for not being able to concentrate on things.

Before the op I had thought to myself that I would be able to use all this time off to read the huge pile of books by my bed. Ha! I can probably read a paragraph and then I lose concentration. Same with TV - following complicated plots in the first couple of weeks just wouldn't work. Don't feel bad about the fact that the only thing you can concentrate on is Homes Under the Hammer for 10 minutes in the morning.

10) Invite guests but plan in advance

You will get so bored and seeing people is the highlight of the day but plan it, otherwise you end up with six people all at once and fall asleep because it is too much. When friends and family want to come round stagger them throughout the week and be realistic with yourself about how much time you can spend with each visitor. Also, everyone will want to come in the first week save some of your favourites up for later weeks as you will love the company and the high you get off of seeing people you love.

11) Check in with your surgery team

As I have said before it is so important to keep positive and keep your spirits high, recovery can be complicated and the internet too easy to access and fuel any nervousness you may have about elements of your recovery. If something doesn't feel right or you're not sure you are healing properly ask your team. I had this in week 4. I was still very stiff and feeling like I wasn't getting better fast enough. I kept thinking I should be able to do more, that I shouldn't still be in pain, that I shouldn't be so tired, that my swollen tummy was a hernia. 5 minutes with one of the surgical team and he completely put my mind at rest and made me feel great - the difference in how I felt before I spoke to him and after was noticeable to other people - so ask.

12) Recovery Buddy

I feel so lucky that I have been able to go through this experience with Tara. Without too much sentimentality she has been a true inspiration to me. Yes, people keep telling us that my operation was tougher than hers and therefore she is currently doing better than me BUT she has had a transplant. She is taking 20 pills a day which do have side effects and she will have to do this for the rest of her life. Tara amazes me because she will moan that she has had to feed the dogs twice in one day but she will never moan abut being ill and having to have this transplant and it is because of that that she inspires me. You can't all have a Tara and not everyone will be going through a donation where donor and recipient live together but seek out your 'person' during your recovery and keep them close because you'll need them.